it was 8th grade before i had ever seen a hyphenated name...my history teacher was Mrs. Hill-Weatherspoon....of course in my youth and ignorance....i was struck by this oddity..."why would a woman do this?"...almost 20 years later...i'm still asking the same question...but now with more of a hardness in my heart
what's the purpose really to keep your maiden name? to continue to be associated with your family? maybe your family name is hilton...or schwartzanegger and you don't want to lose the notoriety that name always brings you...whatever the reason...i can see your point...but i disagree with you
there is something that makes me a little perturbed about the whole situation...out on the east coast i don't think i ran across more than 2 or 3 women out there with hyphenated names...but out here in colorado...it runs rampant...and working at a pharmacy i'm dealing with last names all day....i'm amazed at how many hyphenated names there are...and even worse to me...is the wife who doesn't take her husbands name at all...one of my coworker's wife went this route..."how did you feel about that bro"...his response was nonchalant and romantic "as long as she wanted to be my wife...i didn't care"...wow that makes me look like an ass...cause right now its a freaking deal breaker for me....
i asked a customer just the other day..."is your last name the same as your husbands"...seems like a fairly stupid question..."no" she says...ugh...what?!...and then i just found out last week...the family i'm house sitting for(through picking up their mail) are a house divided as well...the wife didn't take her husbands name
to me this gets so maddening...call it what you will...strong or independence...besides the excuses that i listed earlier...i think it has more to do with ownership...women not wanting to feel like their husband owns them...i understand that our culture has a tendency to make woman inferior...and women can rise up against this and defeat if they want(which i think they should)...but does this need to be part of the revolution....cause i feel this isn't starting the marriage off on the right foot....we are to be one...we are unified...and for a woman to want to be with me forever...and take my name...is a humbling and honoring thing...i don't sit there and say "gotcha sucker..you're mine"...this places all the more responsibility on me to look out for her...take care of her needs and fill those voids that she has been missing without me...this is not something to be taken lightly
and it frustrates me even more when it comes to kids...children of these marriages who have grown up come to pick up their medication with hyphenated names in tact....what happens when they marry...does the woman take the whole hyphenated name of her husband...does she hyphenate on top of the hyphenation...Mrs. Ross-Vasquez-Jones....maybe a girl with a hyphenated name can't wait to marry to rid herself of such woes
all these things don't speak to me of family...there's something in a name...a family together in name...means something...symbolism hits us as humans to the core...and this is one of those things for me...i'm not going to judge those families with hyphenated names...maybe they are stronger than most...but to me(especially the women who don't take their hubbies names at all) there seems like a sacrifice lost
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Oh, the things that anger you.... Isn't there more important things to get angry about? Like christmas decorations in October?
I had a friend who was going to marry and thought she might keep her own name, since she loved her family roots and traditions. Then it occurred to her that her family tradition has always been for women to take their husbands' names, so she did.
I felt a little sorry for her that she wasn't just completely excited to dump her old name and take her husband's and become MRS. DARCY! (or whatever) and have the same name as him... what a thrilling act; it's no sacrifice! I love weddings when the couple turns around and the minister says "I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Knightley! (or whatever) and the name change is made a prominent and joyful symbol of the joining of two people in marriage.
I'm not trying to blame any woman who doesn't feel that way, since people can't always help their feelings. I just think the feminist ideology has stolen many, many joys from women, and that is one of them.
Wow, long rant to post on a stranger's blog. :)
and explain to me why you chosen the path you walk?
Not because marriage isn't a great good, but because of a positive preference to make God the love of my life. If you marry you'll forsake all other women in the world; if I become a nun I'll forsake marriage and children. In both cases the point is not renunciation and sacrifice, but the embrace of a love so great it demands exclusivity. Only by forsaking all others can I give my entire self.
not if part of yourself was not meant to be alone
Love my hubby, but chose to keep my maiden name, I feel sorry Elastic Girl became Mrs Incredible.
Post a Comment