dandelions..

fathomless your endless mercy
weight i could not lift
where do i fit in this puzzle
what good are these gifts
not a martyr or a saint
scarcely can i struggle through
all that i have ever wanted
was to give my best to you

lord search my heart
create in me something clean
dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds

the grass withers...the flowers fade..

you are unique
you are gifted
you are fearfully and wonderfully made
look in the mirror
what do you see
a mask of deception
over who you really are
god knit you together
he formed everything about you
i'm not just talking your physical appearance
i'm talking your soul
your inner being
your personality
what you think is funny
what you think is sad
2 things i guarantee you
someone will always be:
smarter than you
faster than you
more talented than you
prettier than you
wealthier than you
but that doesn't overshadow the fact
that you are talented
you are pretty
you are fast
you are wealthy
all this world can come up with is comparisons
ITS ALL FREAKING RELATIVE
someone once said "...in the eye of the beholder"
damn straight

hold onto the truth
THE TRUTH I SAID
he knows the hairs on your head
he formed you for a unique purpose
UNIQUE PURPOSE
not everyone will call your name
so what
not everyone will see your beauty
so what
not everyone will be changed because of you
but some will
some will
some will
isn't that enough
isn't that worth it
put your comparison compass
back in your pocket
and walk the terrain set before you
he loves
he guides
he provides
don't sell him short of all he deserves
and that is you

remember...

i want to live in a world of creation
to dream and never wake up
the thoughts circle and dive
and when they find a home
i have freed them
to sink deep into the earth
to touch a life
to change a heart forever
what a great gift
to shape the dreams of another
to watch as their eyes awaken
and they will look back at this time
and always recollect what hit them so hard
a thought
an idea
a dream
we must free them now
to set the world ablaze
the life of creation
is a hard and rewarding one

the plague of hyphenated names...

it was 8th grade before i had ever seen a hyphenated name...my history teacher was Mrs. Hill-Weatherspoon....of course in my youth and ignorance....i was struck by this oddity..."why would a woman do this?"...almost 20 years later...i'm still asking the same question...but now with more of a hardness in my heart

what's the purpose really to keep your maiden name? to continue to be associated with your family? maybe your family name is hilton...or schwartzanegger and you don't want to lose the notoriety that name always brings you...whatever the reason...i can see your point...but i disagree with you

there is something that makes me a little perturbed about the whole situation...out on the east coast i don't think i ran across more than 2 or 3 women out there with hyphenated names...but out here in colorado...it runs rampant...and working at a pharmacy i'm dealing with last names all day....i'm amazed at how many hyphenated names there are...and even worse to me...is the wife who doesn't take her husbands name at all...one of my coworker's wife went this route..."how did you feel about that bro"...his response was nonchalant and romantic "as long as she wanted to be my wife...i didn't care"...wow that makes me look like an ass...cause right now its a freaking deal breaker for me....

i asked a customer just the other day..."is your last name the same as your husbands"...seems like a fairly stupid question..."no" she says...ugh...what?!...and then i just found out last week...the family i'm house sitting for(through picking up their mail) are a house divided as well...the wife didn't take her husbands name

to me this gets so maddening...call it what you will...strong or independence...besides the excuses that i listed earlier...i think it has more to do with ownership...women not wanting to feel like their husband owns them...i understand that our culture has a tendency to make woman inferior...and women can rise up against this and defeat if they want(which i think they should)...but does this need to be part of the revolution....cause i feel this isn't starting the marriage off on the right foot....we are to be one...we are unified...and for a woman to want to be with me forever...and take my name...is a humbling and honoring thing...i don't sit there and say "gotcha sucker..you're mine"...this places all the more responsibility on me to look out for her...take care of her needs and fill those voids that she has been missing without me...this is not something to be taken lightly

and it frustrates me even more when it comes to kids...children of these marriages who have grown up come to pick up their medication with hyphenated names in tact....what happens when they marry...does the woman take the whole hyphenated name of her husband...does she hyphenate on top of the hyphenation...Mrs. Ross-Vasquez-Jones....maybe a girl with a hyphenated name can't wait to marry to rid herself of such woes

all these things don't speak to me of family...there's something in a name...a family together in name...means something...symbolism hits us as humans to the core...and this is one of those things for me...i'm not going to judge those families with hyphenated names...maybe they are stronger than most...but to me(especially the women who don't take their hubbies names at all) there seems like a sacrifice lost