"you are who you truly are when you no one's around"

really?? seriously?? cause if this is true...then i'm in the shithouse...i've heard more than one pastor utter this statement...i always thought to myself..."maybe i'm in trouble then...maybe everything i do is just an act for other christians to see and praise me"....but being alone for stretches of time has made me realize....I CAN ONLY BE MYSELF WHEN OTHERS ARE AROUND!!! i can only use my gifts...i can only feel important...encouraged...etc....this is some kind of obscure..."if a tree falls in the woods" type application to human beings...so if you don't have people around to talk to you....does anyone see you go insane

and don't give me that "all you need is jesus" bullshit...THIS STATEMENT IS UNTRUE!!!!....we need human contact...human touch...hugs....eye contact....voice inflections....WE NEED EACH OTHER...WE NEED A CHURCH....not because of sermons...not because of worship music...because that's where we can shake a hand...find love...find forgiveness from and for each other....how come we can make sense of a study in which newborns were shown to be much more joyous and interactive when continually touched and held....and not see the destruction that a life of solitude can bring....maybe this is my weakness...but its one weakness i don't want to be cured from....it brings me back home....

maybe i'm just naive...maybe this is something that everyone has already realized....but i don't remember hearing this in church...i don't remember it being emphasized.....i've been guilty of having selective hearing on more than one occasion....but this needs to be preached...i've found something else i need to hear weak after weak....now there's 2

1. it is finished
2. we need each other

great list

where is fancy bread...in the heart or in the head...

how do you do "everything" unto the lord
work...play...music...movies
obviously the bible forgot to take into account a future that is an american capitalistic society...what is ministry....what about working in an environment isolated from human contact....do i waste valuable time...sitting here watching a basketball game....checking my email...i see why people go crazy....i understand why we have nervous breakdowns....we think we have control over our mind...we think we are indestructible...we think we are untouchable...till something fails...something breaks down....and we find ourselves helpless...hurting...in need...we try to apply the years and years of advice we have given others...to ourselves...but we draw a blank....finding comfort in nothing....maybe the fact that there is something out there greater than us....in control....and that maybe...just maybe he hasn't abandoned us for not doing his work...for not living out the kingdom...i could never believe in a god like that...and yet i still find my mind wondering....i can only hope...that having nothing to offer is enough....that pleading with god to use me....will spawn an answer...something audible maybe...cause i hate laying out fleeces...but what can you do when you are a sinner....filled with doubt...

seriously...can we choose the wrong path...what the hell is the wrong path....what the hell is the right path...choices can be right and wrong...can paths??? i get it...we do thing out of selfish motives...we want what we want...but if we are seeking god on something...can we make a wrong decision...won't god always be with us...doesn't god use even the wrong choices for his glory....so why all the sweating...pulse pounding...let's go and do it...let's not sit around and waste anymore time...let's throw caution to the wind...get up and actually do what we've been flapping our gums about for the last five years....

of course...right after this game

Christians 12...

Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees
Make level paths for your feet
So that the lame may not be disabled
But rather healed

i have nothing to fear....

so why am i afraid...the king of kings has my back...i am his child...he is my father...what earthly cares should weigh me down...why can't i look the poor in the eye...why can't i believe a word they say...where am i going...where is this world headed...what path is greater...what path means the most...when will this all stop wearing on me...grinding me down...is it time to get dirty...is it time to face the world....work on love...work in love....work out love