live by awards...die by awards...

hunting hunting hunting...who likes hunting...no one!!....we love the kill...we love the find...which in turn justifies the hunting...that's why we may say we like hunting...but if we never killed anything...never found anything...we would hate it...we need some kind of satisfaction that our searching is not in vain....although i can't really speak for people who play the lottery...not sure how they feel about it

i've filled out application after application after application...and there is one thing that all of them have in common that i hate:

"list some specific skills and qualifications you have for this position"

and now i have to become a salesman...selling the one thing i have a hard time selling...me....its not like i don't think highly of myself...its just that i don't want to be "that guy"...you know the one...always talking about himself...telling stories...being loud...i just want my work to speak for itself...hell..call somebody..i just gave you a list of references...this is why i could never climb a ladder...or ask for a raise...when your boss asks you "so why do you think you deserve a raise"...i would say..."your right...i don't deserve a raise".....i just want to be noticed...i want to be doing such a good job that you can't help but give me a raise...that's the way it should work

and then...as i head back to the house...i listen to the radio as the announcer lists off the high school students of the month in fort collins...and all their merits..."glee club member...volleyball captain...honor student..." blah blah blah...it reminds me of my senior year when i would talk to some of my classmates...they got involved in all these clubs and organizations so they could get into a better college...is that how it goes?? you're a better or smarter student because of all of the extra curricular groups you were apart of??

why do we love the trophy
why do we love the award
would it be enough to hear the same accolade from our parents
would it be enough to hear a friends whisper over a crowd's applause
i wonder